Who are Filmtwats?

The first version of Filmtwats.com was launched late the following month with the motto “If Jonathan Ross can do it, so can we!” Unfortunately the site was crap, so the duo regrouped, knuckled down and in September Filmtwats.com version 2.0 hit the Information Super Highway. Ever since Chris and Glenn have been working hard to make it the greatest film, news and reviews site on the web.

To this day the founders have yet to commit their thoughts on Terminator Salvation to screen or sound… Chris is still too angry to speak about it.

A frequenter of the multiplex from an early age, whether it an Empire Strikes Back/Return of the Jedi double feature or a re-release of Disney’s Peter Pan or Bambi (that’s right!) Chris’ imagination was captured from the start. His interest in film blossomed into a near-obsessive-like passion with the release of Tim Burton’s Batman and the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, (keeping a chart on his wall of how many times he watched the VHS, before losing count in the mid 50’s).Later, Chris served as inspiration to Lee Bore’s 1996 book entitled The Return of Mr Bad Guy and the 2001 follow up Bad Guy: A Second Cumming, along with a series of unofficial shorts by (The Real) Michael Williams called Bad Guy Shorts (The world awaits the arrival of the long gestating third Bad Guy novel). Chris received critical acclaim in 1998 for his portrayal of the villainous (The) Soldier in an updated stage version of Max Frisch’s Andorra.

Shunting the celebrity his new found fame had thrust upon him, Chris took an 8 year break before returning to the limelight in the role of Chris Mass in the awarding winning short The Morning After, then venturing behind the camera in 2005 as the producer of the New York based film The Music Hurts before leaving the project due to creative differences… well actually he just wimped out because he was homesick and didn’t see enough trees!Life imitated art in 2007 when Chris once again made a short lived return to centre stage in a recreation of the trailer for Rocky Balboa, which never saw the light of day!

In 2009, alongside co-founder Glenn, Chris began concentrating his efforts on the recently discovered technology called “the Internet” with the launch of what is believed to be “the webs’” first and only film review site, Filmtwats.com.

If Moses had ignored the instructions from God, never led the people through the Red Sea or delivered the 10 Commandments, but instead ventured into the underground world of dog fighting, prostitution and kidnapping women for the sex trade… you still wouldn’t have an idea of who Glenn really is. Discovered in a badger sanctuary in Thetford Forest, Glenn was adopted and raised by his newfound stripy friends and treated like one of their own.

Raised on the sweet melodies of Beastie Boys and late night machinegun fire, Glenn quickly found his love for films and videogames. In later years after aceing the clans’ famous ‘Nine Trials of the Guffage Gash Hoarders’ he was made warlord and led fourteen successful campaigns against Golden Pheasant Territory.

After many skirmish’s Glenn suffered tremendous shellshock, became frequently disoriented and thus became addicted to Rohypnol. Glenn chose to leave his clan and live life in solitude, but after only two days Glenn realised he was a really needy person and craved lots of attention – so, he ventured into the big wide world.

After masterminding several pyramid schemes, Glenn met Chris on the back of numerous racketeering charges. They decided in their wisdom to make a website dedicated to portraying naked people in sexually depraved ways, but, quickly realised the web is full of FUCKING DEPRAVITY anyway… so they decided to base one on films instead… true story!

Joining the Filmtwats.com team in February 2010, on the back of a failed Ant and Dec ‘look a like’ career, due to not having an Ant ‘look a like’ with proper forehead ratio. Iain hit rock bottom… After a string of mastibatory bondage techniques, Iain snapped his banjo string and killed a horse. To save himself from embarrasment, he set fire to his house to “clear any evidence” but in the process – inadvertently murdered several neighbours and two cats.

Iain is a regular visitor to San Diego’s Comic-Con and is the teams resident comic book expert, specialising in all things Superman. Sadly however, he still loves melting plastic and believes God speaks to him through a kettle…