Solomon Kane Review

Synopsis

Ripped from the fountain of knowledge that is Wikipedia: (I really couldn’t muster the energy to write one, as this film was utterly exhausting… and not in a good way!)

The movie tells the origins of Solomon Kane and is hoped to be the first of a trilogy of movies. When the story opens Kane is a mercenary of Queen Elizabeth I fighting in Africa, but after an encounter with a demon, The Reaper, he realizes he must seek redemption or have his soul damned to Hell. He returns to England and lives a life of peace, converting to Puritanism, but soon the doings of an evil sorcerer upset his plans and he must take up arms again.

Chris couldn’t have summed up a better review, but I’ll try and break it down for you. I was never excited going to see this film, the trailers did nothing for me and I knew nothing of the source material. But I thought I’d give it a chance, after all, the concept of a dude with a hat and long coat slaying demons sounds cool… right? Fuck me – I was wrong. Ok I’ll start with the positives, the set design and costumes were all pretty good and the monsters were menacing and cool to look at. Clearly the art and special effects department were duped into thinking they were making a better film. The only thing that puzzled me was the fact that the devil looked a hell of a lot like Megatron!?  

Ok let’s get down to the nitty gritty, for the record I think James Purefoy, Max Von Sydow and Pete Postlewaite are all solid actors… but in this film they all fucking suck! Plain and simple, I blame everything squarely on the directors shoulders Michael J Bassett… in any other director’s hands this film could have been good, in lesser hands, probably passable. But as it stands the film comes across as shit and lazy, it was like as if someone made a film… lost it in a fire, so they decided to make another film using all the shit recycled outtakes. There’s far too many pointless scenes to try and describe, it would literally take me weeks. There is nothing redeeming about this film, plus… I kind of felt bad for the actors, because I know they’re worth much more than this tripe!

Verdict: I would rather watch my dad get arse raped then watch this again. (1 star out of 5)