Things we want in Transformers 3!

We’re not stupid at filmtwats, we know our pleas will fall on deaf ears. But as the new picture is in production, filmtwats thought they would compile a list of things they would like to see included or remedied in the next Transformers sequel. Feel free to add any suggestions or things I may have missed in the comments section.

Soundwave’s voice

Look, I know Frank Welker voiced both the cartoon and film incarnations of Soundwave… but Soundwave really isn’t Soundwave without his trademark vocoder. Never before, have I been in a theatre and bore witness to such a collective ‘sigh’ when Bay’s version of Soundwave opened his mouth. So please Michael Bay if you’re listening (which he no doubt, won’t!), can we have less Dr Claw and more of the Soundwave all us kids grew up with.

Hot Rod/Rodimus

Ok, as a kid Jazz was my favourite through and through, I would fight any other school infant to the death if another kid took Jazz’s name in vain. Then, I was introduced to Hot Rod via Transformers: The Movie and before anyone could say “bonjour”, I immediately surrendered and defected to the Hot Rod camp. Surely a robot this cool should have been introduced by now? Hot Rod is the stuff of legends.

Update: there are rumours flying around that Hot Rod is in Transformers 3 and is now a firetruck!? I’m calling bullshit on this, but filmtwats vow to keep you updated on this despicable blasphemy.  

G1 Faces

I know I’m beating a dead horse with this one….. But, anyway. Look, I know Michael Bay wants to put his own stamp on the franchise, but the design of the robots are just too god damn busy. Especially the faces! Look, do what you will with their bodies but please bring back there G1 faces. All it would take is two lines of script… I don’t know? Now the Autobots are living on earth they are adapting more human characteristics in their design, rather than scaring the shit out of children with their ridged sharp alien features. … And I bet kids are sick of razoring their faces when trying to transform their Starscream toy. So, in the next flick can we not have Bumblebee looking like a reject from Batteries Not Included?

  …..how did this go so wrong? 

Unicron

You know what… fuck it, why not? The cats out of the bag now, the Fallen introduced the robots to the whole human race. So why not have a planet devourer introduced in the final? As long as it’s an actual threat and not a big ball of pink cosmic gas (lookup Galactus). Then I think the Autobots and Decepticons banding together, zooming in space and defeating a common enemy, would be a cool way to end a trilogy.

Kup

Introduce the cool battle weary old Autobot – why not? Me and Chris have spent hours arguing over whether Kup had three wheels or four… after a fierce intense debate that included mother jokes and the questioning of each other’s manhood, Chris won. (Kup has four wheels – google it and look closely.) Anyway, easily the Clint Eastwood of old Cybertron

When any robot dies – make sure its final!

Ok, when watching the original 80’s movie as a child, one thing hit me like a fucking sledgehammer… Optimus Prime dies, Starscream dies.. then we were introduced to Über-bot Ultra Magnus… only to end up fucking dead.  In fact, every robot I grew to love, ended up being destroyed, disintegrated or devoured. Clearly us 80’s kids were advanced – trusted with the notion of life, death and brotherhood at a far younger age then our younger brethren. We didn’t have time for this Tellytubbies, pokey, dipsy shit…. honestly, these days… Megatron has been resurrected, Prime has been resurrected – Bay please stop with all this nonsense!

 Dead….   Dead….   R.I.P. Brave warriors